Wonder When You'll Miss Me by Amanda Davis
William Morrow, New York: 2003
ISBN: 0-688-16781-0

Plot Summary:
Wonder When You'll Miss Me begins with 16-year-old Faith Duckle just getting out of the mental hospital after attempting suicide. In bits and pieces throughout the book, we learn the reasons why. She was overweight and a group of boys at school got her drunk at the homecoming game and raped her. On top of it, her father recently passed away and her mother is all but absent. In the institution, she meets a manic depressive named Starling who constantly tries to kill herself, and eventually succeeds. Starling would always talk about her brother Charlie who had always saved her in the past.

Now that Faith has lost a lot of weight, there is an extremely obese fat girl who follows her around that only she can see. It's hard to know exactly what she represents. Is Faith schizophrenic? Is the fat girl just the person she left behind? She gives Faith a lot of advice and reassurance, and eggs her on to take revenge on the boys who raped her, which Faith has misgivings about. She really just wants to run away. To do this, she needs money, so she becomes a bus-girl at a restaurant. Here she meets Charlie, Starlings brother. They become friends, and he introduces her to the circus, where he is dating the "Digestivore."

One day Charlie gets fired. Then Faith takes a knife to school and slices the face of Tony Giobambera, the boy that held her down while she was being raped. She runs and gets away. The only person she knows is Charlie, and she figures he has gone on the road with the circus, so she sets out to find him. When she eventually meets up with the circus, he's not there, but she gets herself a job cleaning up after the animals. She uses the name Annabelle, a nickname that Starling had given her. She starts to fit in, and eventually she is allowed to start training with the aerialists, sealing her position in the circus and life.

Critical Evaluation:
I loved this book. I thought it might just be a whimsical story about a girl running away to join the circus, but Faith Duckle is such a complex, interesting character who immediately draws the reader in. Her fat girl alter-ego is hilarious and it makes Faith's motivations easier to grasp. I especially like how things happen for Faith once she gets to the circus. They are tough on her, and she realizes she is just as lonely here as she is in the real world. However, here, she feels as though she has found a place to fit in, and knows that if she works at it, she will. Once she starts to feel comfortable in her own skin, the fat girl goes away and Faith becomes herself again. It's a mesmerizing transformation to have witnessed.

Reader’s Annotation:
Faith Duckle's life is a living hell. Will running away with the circus change anything?

Information about the Author:
Amanda Davis was raised in Durham, North Carolina, and is the author of a Circling the Drain, a collection of short stories. She teaches in the MFA program at Mills College and has been published in many magazines.

Genre: fiction

Curriculum Ties: none

Booktalking Ideas:
I would introduce Faith Duckle and talk about her experience in the mental hospital, why she got there and how she is not adjusting to the outside world very well. Then I would talk about Tony Giobambera--what he did and what she does to him--and how she decides to go on the run.

Reading Level/Interest Age:
This book is appropriate for ages 16 and up. There are a lot of literary and musical references that younger readers would not understand.

Challenge Issues:
This book would be challenged for its mentioning rape, bestiality,violence, and drugs, as well as some profanity. I would explain the library's selection policy and give the challenger a complaint form to fill out.

Why I chose this book:
I was drawn to this book because of the intriguing cover of a woman flying through the air, and the excellent reviews on the back cover as well.